2009 Lollapalooza: Sunday (From Miles and Miles Away)

Lollapalooza was this past weekend in Chicago. I heard it was a great time, but I wouldn't know. Well, not really. I was actually 700 miles away in Washington, DC, where this past Sunday it was a typical August day in the District: hot, humid, and feeling like hell. It was in the mid-to-high 90's and may have been the hottest day of the year. After spending the morning on a walk running some errands and braving the hellements, I said screw that, and headed indoors where my air conditioner was working at such a furious pace, it was actually yelling "fuck you" at every Smart Car that drove by.

I knew some of my friends were at Lollapalooza, and I also knew that iClips.net was video streaming portions of the festival. It was also hot in Chicago, and just because my friends were sweating themselves silly in Grant Park, didn't mean I had to be. I put on an old pair of Umbros (yep), grabbed a lemonade and tuned in. This is what I saw:

The first band I caught was the Airborne Toxic Event. I have never really listened to this crew, and they seemed intriguing (sort of like Interpol only without the sharp looks and deodorant), but what struck me was how great the video feed was. Clear and crisp with great angles of the stage, crowd, and city. That's what I call production. For those wondering where the price of their ticket was going, it was so people like me who didn't buy a ticket could also enjoy the festivities. Thanks! And let me tell you, this is the way to take in a festival. Whenever I got bored with the Airborne Toxic Event, I would check out my fantasy baseball team (currently in 2nd place, no big deal), walk over to my kitchen and make a drink, or just lie down on my bed and take a power nap. This is the life. Oh, and if you think for a second that I wasn't texting my friends and asking them rather mockingly how the weather was at Grant Park, you're crazy.

According to iClips, Dan Deacon would be featured next. This is something I really wanted to see. A lot of people said that his last album was really good, but I could never bring myself to listen to it. Deacon has just always seemed like one of those acts that needs to be seen and heard, and not just heard. (I have made a promise to myself to listen to a Dan Deacon record very soon.) After preparing a bowl of Edy's Double Fudge Brownie ice cream and returning to my computer, it came to my attention that the feed was down. I have no idea what happened, but do know that iClips user korm5421 was not happy about it. He posted about three or four angry messages. (If you scroll through the message board, you'll see that he was complaining nearly every five minutes the entire day.) By the time the feed rebounded, Deacon was onstage with what looked like an entire marching band, and he had somehow commanded the massive crowd to create a large hole near the center of the stage. One guy was in the middle doing some slow dance moves, and the surrounding crowd was mimicking him. Once the music got going, the crowd just erupted and went crazy. People were jumping, crowd surfing, and rioting. It kind of made me wish I was there, but that thinking ended with my next bite of ice cream.

The Kaiser Chiefs were up next. They did not sound well, and I headed to the living room and turned on the television where I was immediately treated to a live concert on HDNet by the Barenaked Ladies. Now seemed as good of time as any to stick my face in the fan. Luckily, I soon found Major League on AMC. Great movie, but boy does it suffer without the curse words.

I faded in and out of sleep and eventually made my way back to my computer for the Cold War Kids. It was at this point where I tried to watch the band and the movie at the same time. I wasn't accomplishing either objective so I turned off the television. As the band was playing "Hospital Beds" I noticed some guy crowd surfing. I know it has been said countless times, but it really does look douchey when someone is crowd surfing at a completely inopportune time. Really, it does. I learned this the hard way at GG Allin's funeral. (Too soon?)

Snoop Dogg was next on the feed. Holla. The crowd looked absolutely enormous, and I don't think I have ever been in a crowd that big. At one point I think I heard Snoop (shockingly) say, "Put your motherfucking hands in the air," but I can't verify this because I was too engulfed in a mesmerizing profile about great white sharks on 60 Minutes. Allegedly, the recent increase in shark attacks on humans might be connected to humans increasingly seeking out great white sharks. Yeah, and Snoop might be high. At the end of Snoop's set (great white sharks trump Snoop, but Andy Rooney does not), he led the crowd in an impressive chorus of "Na na na na/Na na na na/Hey hey hey/Snoop Dogg." Believe me, it sounded much cooler than it reads.

Fuzzy guitar lovin' Silversun Pickups were stuck with the task of following Snoop. Always fun. I wasn't digging them at first, and even found lead singer Brian Aubert to be slightly annoying any time he tried to scream out a note. However, I thought they got stronger as they went on, and by the time they closed with "Lazy Eye," I was really feeling it. That's an incredible single, and they nailed it. (Although I texted my friend Bret who was there right afterwards to express my enjoyment, and he told me that he thought they sucked. Maybe just maybe, watching the festival over a computer in a different time zone doesn't exactly capture the experience.)

The next three hours were just filler for me (Portugal. The Man, STS9, Neko Case), until the day's headliners, Jane's Addiction and the Killers, were set to close out the weekend. The iClipse site was still listing the 11:30 cst timeslot as TBA, so I had no idea who I would get to watch, and rather than just spend the next few hours staring at my computer, I killed a couple of hours and watched Iron Man on Netflix. Cool movie.

One of the reasons I am sort of relieved I wasn't at Lollapalooza is because it would have sucked having to choose between Jane's Addiction and the Killers. I love both. I realized I was a big fan of the Killers right about the same time it was decided that they were no longer cool. Interestingly enough, this same thing happened to me in high school with OJ Simpson. (Too soon?) But speaking of high school, Jane's Addiction, pretty much the namesake of the festival, was one of my favorite bands way back when, and I have never seen them. So I probably would have decided to linger near their stage, but man, it would have been a tough decision. Good thing at home I had iClipse to make the decision for me. Problem is, when the schedule popped up, it said we would be watching Jane's Addiction but only from 11:30 to 11:45. Fifteen minutes? We were given Bat for Lashes for an entire hour, but only get Jane's Addiction for 15 minutes? Oh, well. Also, the schedule was on central standard time, so this meant I had to stay up until 12:30 am. On a work night, no less. No matter, I was going to do it.

I grabbed a book and laid down on my bed to kill the final hour. I was naive, I didn't stand a chance. I think I fell asleep approximately ten minutes later, only to wake up around 2:15 am with all the lights and computer still on, and 3 Nights in August lying on top of me. I got up and turned out the lights, and briefly considered playing a few Jane's Addiction tracks before officially calling it a night, but thought the better of it. Sometimes you just have to be there.

--Alex

Why Are Certain Chicago Music Critics Still Whining About Lollapalooza?

Ever since Lollapalooza reinvented itself with the parnternship of Perry Farrell and C3 Presents and arrived at Chicago's doorstep in 2005, it hasn't exactly been welcomed with open arms by everyone. It seems every year on the heels of the festival the main music critics in town line up to take their shots, be it at the lineup, the corporate backing, or with misplaced comparisons to the Pitchfork Festival. Jim DeRogatis of the Chicago Sun-Times seems to annually slam the festival, or, if he must, begrudgingly deliver compliments in a backhanded fashion. Last Friday, Greg Kot of the Chicago Tribune was the latest to get his digs in, with a piece entitled Lollapalooza Promoters Still Searching for Chicago Identity. Kot seems to argue that Lollapalooza hasn't done enough to embrace and identify with Chicago. He writes:

But questions remain about how fully Lollapalooza has embraced and been embraced by Chicago beyond the considerable revenue it brings to the local economy. In staging the biggest annual rock festival in the city’s history on Chicago’s showcase property, C3 is held to a particularly high standard. So far it has executed a hugely successful festival with few hitches. But the organization remains at arm’s length from the city’s music community – more of a formidable interloper than a trusted accomplice.

Questions remain? Questions from whom? Probably not from those that bought the 225,000 tickets. Also, the fact that Lollapalooza has recently signed on to remain in Chicago through at least 2018 should quell any questions as to where their loyalties lie. And my guess is the last sentence in that paragraph stems from the "radius clause" that is in the contract for all of the bands that play Lollapalooza, which basically restricts them from playing local venues 90 days before or after the festival. I agree that these clauses are stupid and wholly unnecessary, but they are pretty typical for all large festivals. And the bands that play Lollapalooza never seem to have much trouble arranging an aftershow, or even playing the city a few days before or after the festival. The policy seems to be, ask the promoters if you can play, and they will let you play. If there has been a case of a band being refused a show after asking , I have not heard of it.

Not saying that I would have heard about it. I am a mere casual observer and fan of live music, I am not on the inside, nor privy to some of the politicking that goes on in certain Chicago music circles. That being said, I wonder if the bitterness directed at Lollapalooza is less about the radius clauses and more about the promoters not kissing the right asses. And I am not wondering rhetorically, I am asking because I don't know.

What I do know is, I can't think of a single person that I have talked to that has had a negative experience at Lollapalooza since its rebirth in Chicago. The main (and nearly only) complaint that comes to mind is the size of the crowd, which can make it difficult to maneuver from stage to stage. (And the off-shoot complaint, which is that the large crowd sometimes results in poor or non-existent cell phone service.)

Even more stupid, in my opinion, is this idea that the festival hasn't fully "embraced Chicago." In recent years, Chicago heavyweights Wilco and Kanye West have headlined Lollapalooza. I seem to remember Lupe Fiasco on a stage as well. And even small time and relatively unknown local acts like Cameron McGill have been included. I guess Oprah needs to be invited to appease some of these people.

I have heard others complain about the lack of Chicago "identity" at the festival. Oh, brother. Lollapalooza is stationed in Grant-freakin'-Park, under the glow of arguably the most beautiful skyline in the world. And second, does it really matter? Does the music not suffice? Last year everyone seemed to enjoy Radiohead just fine. Are you telling me it would be a much more fulfilling experience if everyone was up to their necks in stuffed pizzas and crooked politicians, too?

Everyone should just enjoy Lollapalooza for what it is, which is a world-class, three-day rock music festival that is slowly becoming a staple of Chicago summers. The Chicago identity and mutual embrace will slowly come, and the kinks will slowly go. But in the meantime, speaking as a former Chicago resident not yet 18-months removed, just feel lucky to have something so great in your backyard.

UPDATE: Almost right on cue, here is DeRogatis's annual whiny column from Saturday's Sun-Times. I am pretty sure it's the same article every year, he just changes the names of the bands.

--Alex

NQL Roundtable Discussion on 2008 Lollapalooza

NQL's brass and special guest James Lipton of "Inside the Actor's Studio" met early last week at 1632 N. Jay Bennett Dr. to have a pointed discussion of this year's Lollapalooza.

Alex Crisafulli: Okay, it’s summer, kind of, time to talk about Lollapalooza. Matt is late as usual and our special guest panelist James Lipton was supposed to be here an hour ago and he hasn’t called or anything. I say we start without him.

Anna Deem: Alright, let's go. Did you guys hear about how Perry Farrell was pissed at Jim DeRogatis for leaking the line-up the day before? And DeRo was like "Whatever, fuck you." Funny stuff.

Brian Herrmann: I think James Lipton can go fuck himself. Perry Farrell too. He's better off sticking to spaceships or whatever mystical hoo-ha broke up Jane's Addiction and made him make that terrible movie "The Gift." If you go to Lolla's Flash-heavy website, you'll notice Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks and Dierks Bentley at the very bottom of the lineup, in like 3-point type. I have great eyes, but I had to get right up on the screen to read the last line--and couldn't tell it said "Dierks Bentley" until I saw Gnarls Barkley on the third line. Seriously, what a slap in the face to Stephen Malkmus. Dear Stephen, Your cultural relevance/agency, once nonpareil, is now on the level of Dierks Bentley. Your friend, Lollapalooza. And I'm pretty sure the first line is a misprint--weren't those the headliners for Lolla '98?

Alex: Perry being pissed off at DeRogatis actually extends to the year before when DeRo openly criticized the festival. I like DeRogatis but I do think he was a bit unnecessarily harsh. But yes, him leaking the lineup certainly didn't help things.

Brian: How did it hurt things? Anyone who's going to buy a ticket is still probably going to buy a ticket. The only thing leaking the lineup hurt was Perry's pride. It took away a little bit of his power and control. So do people in Chicago call DeRogatis "DeRo" or is that just round table shorthand? You big city people and your big city ways.

Alex: I think he's called lots of things. Just ask Ryan Adams. Backing up a second, Brian you said something to the affect that the headliners were a bit dated. If you could pick anyone to round out that list to make it better who would it be?

Brian: The Prodigy, Stone Temple Pilots, Tool. I really don't know. I understand having big-name acts as headliners, but the only one that's still relevant (from my perspective anyway) is Radiohead, and, given the other artists, Rage Against the Machine and Nine Inch Nails are incongruous at best. I don't know what the kids like these days, and most of the bands I like wouldn't have a mass appeal, so I'd be better off organizing one of the side stages, or the Nike Shoxx Presents the Mr. Peanut Mist Tent.

Alex: Prodigy, Tool....weren't those the headliners for the 97 lolla? The one that pretty much ended the entire thing as we knew it, in terms of traveling to city to city? I believe this to be accurate. I also believe this table we're sitting at to be square and not round. Who's responsible for this!? Someone tell our numbskull interns a round table should not have corners. [Shakes head while muttering "incompetence...everywhere I look."] But more importantly, since lolla morphed into what it is today, a cohesive lineup hasn't exactly been their specialty. But, can you really falut them for that? Is it possible to have a lineup that makes sense when there are 200 bands playing? How cohesive was SXSW? And why does Pitchfork get a pass on this? What's cohesive about Mastadon, Of Montreal, and Tim Tuten? I don’t even know what a cohesive lineup means. I'm going to stop saying the word "cohesive".

Anna: I don't think it matters whether the line-up is cohesive or not. Lolla caters to the people and the people apparently want '90s nostalgia trips and up and coming indie bands. As someone who has been to Coachella for the past few years, I'd say that Lolla definitely kicked their ass in terms of a line-up this year. I'll take Radiohead, Rage, and Nine Inch Nails any day over Jack Fucking Johnson, Portishead, and a bloated Roger Waters doing Dark Side of the Moon.

Alex: Everyone refers to him as Jack “Fucking” Johnson. It’s like he’s the new Bucky Dent.

Brian: I think Jack “Fucking” Johnson has only written one song, and just keeps re-releasing it under a different name each time. Does Lolla cater to the people, or does it respond to what the people seem to be into based on a management agency's perception of popular culture? Idea: a democratic music fest. People vote, and then organizers put together a lineup based on those votes. But the lineup would end up being Rihanna, Soulja Boy, Kelly Clarkson, Staind...

Alex: Hey, let’s get off Jack Johnson. ..I just got off yours! [laughs hysterically]

[Everyone stares at Alex in total silence.]

Alex: Sorry…that was stupid and completely uncalled for. But if Kelly Clarkson was on the bill I'd be the first one in line getting tickets and I'm not kidding. And whatever happened to that Milo Cyrus rumor?

Brian: The one that said she had a sex reassignment operation because of a botched circumcision? I don't know.

Anna: I'm so confused right now. Didn't All Tomorrow's Parties let people vote for one of their festivals in England a few years ago? Or am I making that up?

Brian: Now you are one of us...I don't know. But that just goes to show, there's nothing new under the sun.

[Door opens abruptly and Matt Farra walks in.]

Matt Farra: Lollapalooza? More like Borapalooza!

Alex: Hey, everyone! Our Louisville writer Matt just decided to grace us with his presence and join the discussion. ..late, as always. Hey interns....WE NEED ANOTHER CHAIR, PRONTO! But back on point, what does everyone like about the Lolla lineup? I'll tell you what I like: I think it's cool Kanye and Wilco are headliners even though they've already been there and done that. I like that they have Chicago's royalty headlining the weekend. And I'm also really looking forward to Blues Traveler. If they play "Run Around" I have a coordinated dance to go along with it. Shout-out to Montreat Summer Camp 1995!

Anna: I like that Radiohead is choosing to do Lolla as their Chicago date rather than playing at the Chicago Theatre (or somewhere else), since I'll be able to see them and it's less likely that the show will sell out. I like that Broken Social Scene is off of hiatus and finally touring again. I like that I'll get to relive my high school emo years by watching Brand New play live....I mean, what?

Brian: I like that tickets are reasonably priced. I like that there won't be 40 trillion people there.

Alex: My sarcasm meter just broke off. Anna, you’ve been to lolla before, correct? For the benefit of those who haven’t been, how would you describe the sound? Atmosphere? Food? 30 Seconds to Mars? Accessibility of stages? Bathroom facilities?

Anna: Nah, I didn't go...I've actually never been before. I didn't move to Chicago until August, so I just missed it. I'll definitely be there this year though.

Matt: [pulls out his lap top.] Brian--I can't speak about 2007 Lollapalooza, but I am pretty sure that Flogging "Friggin" Molly was not on the bill. Maybe I shouldn't make light of such an addition, afterall, as noted by wikipedia.com: "On March 4, 2008 Flogging Molly released Float, an album dubbed "One of the most important CDs of the year, if not the decade" by Alternative Press".

Brian: That doesn't mean shit. This decade is only a few years old, plenty more, more important CDs will be released by decade's end.

Matt: They might not even be making CDs by the end of this decade. One of my friends has a record player (which plays vinyl discs) and then he frames the album covers because he is so "cutting edge". Okay, I am talking about myself. But it I thought it was so cool at the time. Besides, if I can't have a "bar" at my house or a TV hung on my wall--aren't framed albums the next coolest thing? I especially like toting my albums around the house and having to hide them when company comes over because my wife doesn't find them as aesthetically pleasing as I do.

Brian: Relate what you just said to Lollapallooza in five sentences or fewer. Time...begins...nnnnnnow.

Matt: I love how bands sell albums at their concerts, such as the Lollapalooza Festival in Chicago for the year 2008. I enjoy watching people buy albums or posters before concerts and then see their hearts and/or dreams smashed as the edges of the album get bent or the poster becomes ripped or turned into a quasi-megaphone. C'mon people, is this your first time at a concert? Wait until the end of the show to buy that shit--or better yet--steal that shit. You already went to the concert, what more can the band want from you? And for the record, black light posters often help intensify your experience at a show, so these words of wisdom do not apply to such items. If these items still exist? I, for one, would really enjoy a Wilco or Bon Iver black light poster.

Brian: I would enjoy a black light poster that's a Rasta smiley face smoking a joint, emblazoned with the word Jammin'. And as long as teenagers to drugs, there will be a market for black lights and black light posters.

Alex: You should hang that right next to your Belushi "College" poster. Gosh, your room sucks, Brian.

Brian: Maybe, but have you ever been in my room....on weed??

Alex: [laughing] Speaking of great cover art, has an album cover ever outshined the actual album as much as Tapes 'n Tapes Walk It Off? I think they should be forced to repackage that record into something much more bland and repetitious. And we've been sitting here for awhile now, anyone up for some pizza? I have $6.

Brian: I like that cover better the first time when it was the cover of Pieces of the People We Love. And the second time when it was that iPod commercial. You know, the one with all those shadow-people dancing. And I have $4.70. That's one large taken care of.

Alex: It also has some Abbey Road elements to it too, no? I bet that nerdy looking drummer with the glasses is the walrus.

Brian: That song is on Magical Mystery Tour.

Alex: Yes, but that was the album cover that spawned the rumors that Paulie McCartney was dead, right? The clues were obvious, by the way. He didn't have any shoes on. Of course he's dead. No one ever gets buried in shoes. And, the walrus was Paul. More importantly, I'm feeling a stuffed spinach from Giordano's. How's that sound? Matt, Anna...you have anything? Wait, where the hell did Anna go?! I didn’t even see her leave.

Brian: I heard she was out taking care of business somewhere. Just a rumor.

Matt: She's off to Effingham to get ready Myan' mar Cowbell BenefitFestival! Rather easy, I know, but it's a start. Or what about Mission of Burma…relief, that is.

Alex: Matt Farra, ladies and gentlemen. Well, even though I'm starving, we can wait for her to get back. Let's get back on topic. I knew the AARP was a powerful lobby but didn't realize how strong until I saw Nine Inch Nails and Rage Against the Machine were headlining. Which leads me to ask the panel a two part question: First, which set would you rather see? And second, if you had to go home and listen to Pretty Hate Machine or Rage's first album which would it be? I'm taking Rage for the first answer but Pretty Hate Machine for #2.

Matt: For the first question, Rage Against the Machine. I don't really think of NIN as a great live act. For the second, Rage’s first album, unless we're talking about going home right after seeing Rage live--then I would probably rather listen to something different, less cable newsish.

Anna: Sorry, got a phone call. That was Effingham on the phone.

Alex: No problem, we were discussing a hypo.

Anna: I heard from the other room. I’ll go with Nine Inch Nails. I saw Rage at Coachella last year and they were a bit too intense for me. Plus, gangbangers in wife beaters screaming "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me" are frightening. And Pretty Hate Machine, probably.

Matt: What are the odds that Barack makes some sort of cameo at Lollapalooza? I wonder what John McCain's bloggin' daughter would do if he showed up?

Brian: He'll come out naked with his mouth taped shut for Rage's set. McCain’s daughter, too. As for the question, Rage, definitely. And I’d rather listen to Rage’s first album, Pretty Hate Machine just isn’t good.

Alex: Pretty Hate Machine not good? You're lucky I'm not 15 and going through a break up with my girlfriend that I had been with for a month and half or I'd leap over this table and strangle you.

Brian: Name more than two good songs on it. 'Sanctified' and 'Ringfinger' are it for me.

Alex: The two you just mentioned. “Head Like a Hole. Terrible Lie. Whatever track 5 was called. The slow song. I think nearly 80% of the ten songs on that album are great. The 15 year old in me going through a rough patch likes 100%.

Brian: Surely you jest.

Alex: I don't jest. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go order the pizza. Let’s take five.

Matt: A stuffed pizza is going to take forever. i told you guys we should have stuck with the dippin' dots.

Anna: Okay, I’m going to have to bow out early and head down to Effingham for the day.

[Five minute break concludes]

Alex: Matt, is anyone from Louisville on the bill?

Matt: I can only assume you mean Lollapalooza, Alex. Are you trying to get me to bite on an Eight Belles joke? You are sick my friend...I refuse to go there. I will take the high horse, saddle up and ride away from that broken attempt of some front-end humor.

Alex: Is that your way of telling me you're looking forward to Broken Ankles Social Scene's set? Thank you, folks, I'l be here all week!

Brian: You’re an idiot.

Matt: Guys, while we've been sitting here, I just got a text message from Daniel Radcliffe. What does "LOL so hard my britches are wet" mean?

Brian: It means Sid Bream beat a Jesse Barfield throw home to score the go-ahead run.

Alex: No, no, no, it means now would be a good time for him to utilize that invisibility cloak of his. I read somewhere that Mr. Radcliffe is a big Hold Steady fan, which leads me to ask, pretending price is not an issue, between the two festivals, which event are you more looking forward to and why?

Matt: [pulling his computer back out] Actually, Danny R. is a huge Art Brut fan. Have a look at this.

Alex: How did Richie Sambora get in that picture? Hopefully, little Danny was the DD that night.

Brian: What festivals are you referring to? Lolla and what else? Your non-specificity is killing me.

Alex: The sweetcorn festival in downstate Chatam, IL. I'm thinking Lollapalooza. I'm looking forward to seeing Kanye take the stage as the sun sets on Grant Park. Though I do love corn. No, you numbskull, I'm talking about Pitchfork Festival! The Hold Steady were recently added to the bill.

Brian: There just wasn't enough info to make the connection between Lolla, Radcliffe, and Hold Steady. Who's the numbskull now, numbskull? The answer is clearly Pitchfork. It's cheaper for one, less crowded for another, and has headliners that I'm actually interested in.

Matt: There goes our pizza being comped. Thanks Brian!

Alex: Well, I did say pretend that price as not an issue, but that aside, I think I'm going to go with Pitchfork as well. It's just so much more manageable and less chaotic.

Brian: You're right, you did, but Pitchfork still wins.

Alex: Brian, would you be against Pitchfork raising the prices $10 per ticket if the money went to hire someone who would actually check all of their articles and headlines for typos?

Brian: Shit yeah. You could hire a half-ass copyeditor for $30k a year.

Matt: Now, turn the page a bit. Given that Spoon is playing Pitchfork, which I am sort of stunned they are returning for--and taking money out of the equation again--do you think there are bands that would prefer to play Pitchfork over Lollapalooza? Although I know they aren't mutually exclusive, it seems that Spoon has a bigger following than Dierks Bentley and could easily have agreed to play Lollapalozza. I guess what I am getting is the following: do you think bands today are embarrassed to play in front of certain audiences or do they all just care about generally getting their music exposed to all different types of people, including the ones who watch The Hills…if that is even how they spell it because I wouldn't know because I don't watch the show....I swear I don't.

Alex: I bet a band that long ago could stop worrying about working another day job would like to play Pitchfork It gives them a certain sort of street-cred amongst all those scrawny and sniveling indie kids.

Matt: All those scrawny and sniveling indie kids…whose parents are corporate representatives for the Lollapalooza sponsors. Boy, what a small world we live in.

Alex: Isn’t it!

Brian: What haters. What cynics. Oh brother.

Alex: I am not hating. I think every band should make as much money as they can. That's why I limited my answer to those bands that are already very financially established. If I was a band ten months removed from selling cd's out of my trunk, you can bet your ass I would choose the Lolla payday over Pitchfork if given the choice.

Brian: But on point, Spoon played Lolla last year, didn't they? I think any professional musician's aim is to get his music exposed to as many people as possible. That's why No Age are at basically every major music festival this summer, and why My Morning Jacket were recently on SNL. I see no reason for embarrassment.

Matt: Hey guys! I just got a question from a Jimmy V., who was logged-on to our NQL chatroom. He writes the following: "I am drunk. Can you come pick me up?"

Brian: Well, that’s not good. But I agree with your point, however. You'd be a fool to turn down on principle any well-paying gig that promises high levels of exposure. You can't even hate on well-established bands like Nine Inch Nails or Rage or Radiohead for playing.

Alex: Can I at least hate on Rage for playing their actual music?

Matt: That's not my point or my question. Gosh! Let me rephase it: If money wasn't an issue, do you think there are bands that would prefer playing Pitchfork over Lollapalooza, even though their exposure would not be as great. I know this doesn't apply to every band, and you can never really ignore money and finances, but I am just curious if some bands would thumb their nose at Perry and Pepsi Cola if given the opportunity?

Brian: Well, you have to figure that a lower-key festival like Pitchfork is easier for artists to deal with than a high-pressure, high-profile gig like Lolla.

Alex: I don't know Matt, your question sucks. But Perry seems to have a pretty good relationship with most artists, I've noticed. And what I do find funny are the bands at Pitchfork who take shots at other festivals and then show up at those festivals. Carl Newman last year went on some tangent about how PFM doesn't screw you, you meaning the fan, and, if I recalll, made some backhanded comment towards lolla, and they had played lolla the previous year. Malkmus did the same thing and he's plaything lolla this year. And, not to change the subject, but I can't believe Lipton never showed up!

Matt: Guys, don't forget that Pitchfork has been known to censor its fans as well. "Puck Fitchfork"--need I say more? [Inside Joke. Members of the roundtable begin laughing and mucking up.] On that note, if Pitchfork Music Festival was around 10 years ago (1998)--what bands do you think would be on the bill? Neutral Milk Hotel, Guided by Voices, Del the Funky Homosapien?

Brian: That was a vendor's censorship. The t-shirt maker. But I agree with your ’98 lineup. And on the side stage, that guy who lives down the hall from Ryan Schreiber and makes four-track recordings in his kitchen.

[Buzzer rings]

Alex, Brian, & Matt: Pizza!

Alex: Okay, now is a good time as any to wrap this up. We hurt some feelings, barely talked Lollapalooza, and pretty much accomplished nothing.

Matt: Just another day at the office.

Brian: Indeed. Let’s eat.